In Lists we Trust
I'm making a list. I'm checking it more than twice.
Don’t like reading? Allow me to read this post to you here
Of all the seasons, List Making Season (Happy LMS!) is easily the most decorative. Executive? Contraceptive? Pensive? Expensive? Apprehensive?
“Siri, can you make a list of all the words ending in “-ive?”1
Point is, I love lists. I have never typed that sentence before. I should make a list of all the sentences I have never typed before. I suppose that’s just called writing this paragraph?
Where was I?
Lists.
My top three favorite lists are:
1. Santa’s List (Naughty or Nice, way to get to the nub of it, Nick.)
2. Shit List (Creates the impetus and motivation for others to get off it.)
3. To-Do List (Good for using up ink and coloring in checkboxes, which is also good practice for government forms and official documents.)
Of course, a list of one’s mortal enemies is also a good list. A Mortal Enemies List is a next-level Shit List and differs because a Shit List is fluid (people can move on and off and back on to it), whereas Mortal Enemies are for life, yo. I don’t include it here as I have no mortal enemies and even if I did, I don’t think I’d need to write them down to remember them.
Rambling, Janeen. Sorry!
Today is January 10th and I just realized that the peak of the list-making season has passed and I have not yet whipped out a list of resolutions for 2022. I’ve never officially made one of these before—or never committed one to paper, digital, or otherwise—so I thought in the interest of growth and expansion of my heart, mind, soul, and word count, I would make one today.
Resolutions are not to be confused with Goals. I’m a whiz at Goal Setting, as recent ramblings decisively prove. From what I can tell, Resolutions are more loosey-goosey, like, you can break them instantly and it’s no biggie. “Eh, so I didn’t change the world, but I RESOLVED to, and that’s all that matters. Sure, I DISSOLVED instead of RESOLVED, but it doesn’t get me on Santa’s naughty list so everything’s tickety-boo.” Moving on. Blah, blah, have a donut.
I don’t know exactly how to do a resolutions list, and my instinct is to not write them down lest I be held accountable, but in the interest of moving things along (and once again, upping my word count), let’s start with what I believe is the crux of the NYRL (New Year’s Resolution List.)
Set your intent.
That very sentence—which again I have never written so have added to the list—is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard but:
I’m au fait,
You’re au fait,
We’re au fait,
We’re fine!
RUOK? Get with it. Etc. Ok. Stop stalling. Here I go.
New Year’s Resolutions, 2022
Resolution #1:PINNAIGNIS
Resolution #2:SCHTUPALINGO
Resolution #3:ÖFFNENCHUTE
Resolution #4:EMPANODDA
Resolution #5:HELLOTHALES
Of course, I’d write it in code! I ain’t no ninny. But the code is tied to the last one in the list. You’ll see. And so, let us begin. Or pray on it by feeding our sourdough starters, or whatever it is you do to un-chock your wagon wheel and get to going.
Resolution #1: Pinnaignis
Do something that earns an ear burn. Or to put it another way, create something that gets people talking about the thing I make or do in a way that makes my ears burn. This one is hard to describe, which is probably why I invented a word for it. This thing I do, (I would hope it is something that I create) is good. It should not be something that’ll get me canceled, even though I think what most people call being canceled is just being called out for behavior that you should be called out for. If mess up, call me tf out.
Pinnaignis2 means to do something great and have that great thing talked about in a way that sets fire to the tips of ears in a hot-flush way. I had originally used the word divine instead of great, but as Thom Yorke, (who must be in a constant state of pinnaignis) sings, “It’s time for something great,” so let me get out of my own way and make it.
It’s not about being viral either. I don’t want to be viral. Just to create a hat-doffer moment. “Is someone talking about my etchings? Oh, [blush] my ears are burning, they must be!” It should be obvious by the way I’m writing about it here, that I’d rather the talking be about the work and not me3. “Have you seen ZYX?” not “Did you see what XYZ did?” Work first, me second. Get it? Got it? Good.
Resolution #2: Schtupalingo
I resolve to write more f*ckable language. That’s such a crass way of putting it, which is why I invented a word for it. Schtupalingo4, Make more schtupalingo art. Sing more schtupalingo music. I don’t mean to make sexy things to have sex to. You’re not getting it.
Have you ever read a sentence or a paragraph in the middle of something that stops your heart? Something that sucks the air out of your lungs with its sheer power. Makes you read it again. Note it in your files. It is the face of God created purely in the coitus of consonants and vowels. A piece of writing that soars, sings, and harmonizes. It sways its hips, it looks moodily at a sunset, it makes you tingle to the tips of your hair roots. This is schtupalingo and I want more of it in my life. I want to make it myself. For you.
It is rare that I chance upon it in my own writing, but very occasionally I feel myself close to the presence of it. I don’t think it’s something you can actively push for—there’s always the danger of pushing too hard and overwriting it directly into a pap grave—but by setting this word in a neon sign in the back of my brain, the flickering dream of it will always be present.
When you think about it, it’s just a word that means try harder. Or don’t half-arse it.
Make the deadened, lethargic brains of the inspiration-starved hoopleheads horny for your art. That’s a directive.
Schtupalingo your brains out.
Resolution #3: Öffnenchute
Be of service to the work. “Oh, how very greeting card of you, Janeen.” Stop it with your cynicism5.
Be of service to the work. When you are exercising öffnenchute you are open to receive. Öffnenchute is letting go. Let go and allow the idea to take you where it dreams of going. Champion it. Recognize when it needs to be euthanized and do it humanely. When you are of service, work flows through you, it laps at the shore, it deposits shells, it changes the shape of you and your thinking.
Be a conduit. Practice öffnenchute.
In those moments when I think about money and where it’s going to come from. Öffnenchute. When I think about career paths and see people I came up with now standing at the tops of their mountains and think to myself, “If only I wasn’t so prone to self-sabotage as a mechanism to stop me heading down financially stable but personally unsatisfying creative roads, I could be there too.6” Öffnenchute. The mantra used to be: “Be of service to the work.”
Now I have a word for it.
Öffnenchute.
You might think öffnenchute only applies to my work outside of the commercial world, but in truth, öffnenchute touches everything. I care about bringing my best to everything, and if you’re in a creative field, öffnenchute is as relevant for you as it is for the artist slogging away in a workshop or a writer working on weekends on their personal craft.
Öffnenchute is being open to ideas and sharing them with yourself and ESPECIALLY the world.
Öffnenchute is being open to receive by being present.
Öffnenchute is representing the hearts of those ideas in the court of review.
Öffnenchute is never half-arsing it, whether you’re creating for yourself or for a client.
When we are of service to ourselves and not the work, we are slaves to ego. And ego, while a useful tool, is a no-go when it comes to öffnenchute.
This brings me to…
Resolution #4: Empanodda
Be of service to others. How can I help you? How can I be more of service to my community and those in my direct orbit?
I’m not a religious person, but things are looking pretty grim in how we’re treating each other in this particular moment in time. Live Aid ruined everything. This is something I said to myself on a bike ride the other day and I instantly felt shame for it, because that was a time of such hope. But I know where I’m going with that statement.
We live on such a global level as humans now, where all we see are global-sized problems, and those problems are terrifying. Crushing. You can’t see the forest for the trees is a great saying, but sometimes we should look at those damn trees. Are those trees healthy? Do they need some fertilizer?
I remember Live Aid as being a time when it became obvious that we could do things for people on a global scale, and I’m not saying we can’t now. But I think a lot about how they say the perfect size for a group of people is about 100. Is that the number? I can’t remember, but this idea of community and helping each other on a smaller scale seems a more manageable thing right now. Sure, I can still aim for global, and understand those issues, but this year I have decided to be more empanodda7. I will reach out to friends for no other reason than to check in (and see if they need something from me.) And if it’s just someone to talk to, I will be that person8.
We all have our daily battles. Isolation has made those battles occur in bunkers with locked doors and people furtively looking out bullet-proof portholes. Let’s build some tunnels in the neighborhood, virtual or actual. Though… if you do the actual, you will need a permit.
Look at me, roping you into my resolution. I don’t care what you do. Wait, yes I do. It’s lack of caring that got us here in the first place. Empathy, compassion, and caring. If these are words you can’t get behind and “Everyone for themselves and Ima gonna get mine, here’s my boot in your face!” is more your motto, I can’t help you.
Empanodda. That’s all there is in this bunker. Cross stitch pattern to come.
Resolution #5: Hellothales
This one’s easy to talk about, harder to execute. Basically, it means “Be more inventive.” Throw the shackles off my brain and let it run free, naked, and unafraid in the top paddock of my noggin. It’s not that I’m not inventive or imaginative now, but I know I’m holding back.
When you’ve had a lifetime of creating work that adheres to brand guidelines, you still go hog-wild in the ideation phase, but then you filter out the ‘too insane’ stuff in order to get back to fit within the parameters of what sounds right for the brand. If you work for a brand long enough, you instinctively hone your thoughts to get there quicker.
This is not a knock on brand guidelines, by the way. I believe in that shit. I’ve written a lot of that shit. Not that it’s shit. Guidelines save minds. But I find this way of thinking can unintentionally bleed into the approach of my personal projects and maybe, perhaps, I dunno, hold me back?
Hellothales9 is simply a reminder to let my brain off its chain. Imagination needs to run wild, then wilder. I have no personal brand guidelines to adhere to10, so why not?
There is no boundary line with Hellothales.
Let my brain be the lungs of my ideas. Yes, mixed anatomy analogy. But the brain breathes. Inhales. Exhales. Expands. Contracts. Opens doors and closes them. Ideas surge from one room to another looking for a way out. The brain can fling open a door and breathe them into the world. Be more Hellothales, Janeen. Don’t be scared. You can do it. No one has to know about how far you go.
So there you have it. There’s my list, and apart from my daily To-Do, I think it’ll be the only list I make this year. I know at the beginning of this I mentioned that it seemed like the general idea of resolutions is that they’re kinda loosey-goosey, and while it seems like it’s fine if you break them instantly, I think I might as well thrillgilbert.
Which is Janeen-speak for crush it like a grape.
Yours in tiny thought,
Janeen
This week’s amends…
“No input, no output”– Joe Strummer
I believe this is known as Strummer’s Law. I had this noted as something Jim Jarmusch talked about, but I didn’t note the interview. I’m guessing it might have been this one?
On Rotation: The Smile “You Will Never Work in Television Again.”
It’s Thom, Johnny, and Tom Skinner’s (Sons Of Kemet) new thing, released last week. Indulge me.
Just a quick reminder that all songs featured in this newsletter have their own playlist on Spotify.
Things lost on the subway have value (to someone).
Fun Fact: “…it turns out that modern bowling balls contain an asymmetric weight block in the middle that looks a little like a car’s starter. Weird, right?”
Via Kottke
Did any of this spark a tiny thought of your own?
She said: “Sorry, I can’t help with that. Let me know if you want me to open the Reminders App.” Siri. Back on her bullshit with me in 2022.
Pinnaignis: Pinna, which is “top of the ear” and Ignis from the Latin for fire.
Let’s be real: Ego me says ME ME ME. But I am always conscious of how that messes me up in terms of why I’m doing the thing and can even affect HOW I do the thing. Best to let the ego be fed organically—let the work talk for me. I don’t know if that even makes sense.
Does this one need to be broken down? Schtup is schtup and lingo is language and here we are. Schtupalingo seemed less crass than Bangalingo.
“Be less cynical” is a life directive, not a once-a-year resolution. That’s why it is not on any list.
Ego.
Obviously, a combination of Empathy with the nodding head of understanding that comes through listening. And of course, Empanadas, which are, I think we can all agree, delicious.
I feel like I made this statement last year. Did I?
Say hi to Thales of Miletus, who was sort of the father of Western philosophy. He invented mathematics and it’s odd, considering my hatred of mathematics, that I would’ve chosen him for this and not Da Vinci. Thales sounds like a cool cat. “A philosopher renowned as one of the legendary Seven Wise Men, or Sophoi, of antiquity.” Thales. I bet he could get it.
Lie. I have one Personal Brand Guideline: Don’t be a dick.