Rolled like ancient carpet that’s seen many lives, many footfalls of love and loss and poetry, pain and joy, birth and sickness, and too many 6 o’clock news-es. Rolled up in it, and willingly. Twisted and wrung out with relentless waves of surprise and delight, finding the deadened sinkholes of boredom within your day now filled. Thrown into the muddy fast waters of mystery, darkened with the tone of the unknown until the close of this storied business. Lined up against the walls of this chaptered revolution, your brain is caught in the ecstasy of exposition and blindfolded to the ones with the clacking guns. This language, this peeling back of crackling skin exposes the whitened skeleton of your understanding. Closing, shuttered, shattered, and satiated, you lay down your dog-eared mind. You are depleted of more than breath.
You ever read a book like that?
Every cell, every cell’s best friend, every twisted deoxyribonucleic line scribbled in your imperfect composition is lit. Every atom capable of mobilization marches straight to the citadel of your heart to claim it in the name of Sublime Reverie. Compelled to elevate from the softest part of the underfoot where hesitation resides and exaltation lies sleeping, you rise from the very ground of your stagnation to achieve brilliant luminescence. It is as though the very tingle of YES! has strung wires to your long-abandoned power station. The shiver in the bones, the vibration of the spirit, the staff of life thwacking you to movement. Dumbstruck and fascinated, a hand reaches into the air, possessed by a lyrical phantasm made of pure sound, solid notes, and a transcendent tone that cannot possibly be of this earth.
You ever hear a song long that?
Colors seep and drip into a languid pool of magnificent distractions, urging you to worship. It is sudden and unexpected devotion. Perfectly placed, lovingly stroked, expertly mixed. The wideness of your mind exposed to the infinite expanse of this imaginary world, given an all-access pass to explore the very corners of far-off horizons and darkened landscapes. Disbelief suspended and credits given. Pixels made perfect in the instance of their projection, this blanket of wrapped-around sounds and oozing vision surrounds the senses in newly cocooned peace. Briefly alive, forever engaged. The sum of collective toil strapped to a rocket and shot hot into your eye. It lights up your consciousness in the battle between acceptance and understanding. Liquid and oily, bright and slick, the saturated spirit now painted in hues of “Oh, wow!”
You ever see a film like that?
To find footing in an uncertain moment, worthy of this spot, in this room, on this planet. To validate in the beat and click of a word, the touch to your arm, the calming and familiar voice. Opinion and thought and the fidelity of your excellence affirmed, typed by their hand to an interface, set to scrawl across your self-confidence chyron. Whole, complete, made to be born and born to make.
You ever have a friend like that?
Caught in the swell of a nerve made raw. The remembrance of a now-passed friend, parent, or lover, overwhelmed in the moment but blessed by the sometimes unwanted gift of memory. The influx of emotion, coursing through your empathic system to flood the causeways and sub-stations, gates now open and running wild. A smudge of love to rosy a shy cheek. The flight of regret and guilt and bitterness sticking heart to flypaper with a buzz of life. Acceptance let in. Pain admitted. Anger railing and flailing about in the cluttered front room of your psyche, smashing internal crockeries instead of external jaws. Sadness, jealousy, disproportional sorrow. Joy, love, desire. Fear and relief. Boredom and nostalgia.
You ever allow yourself to just feel?
Yours in tiny thought,
Janeen
This week’s amends…
The truth about the world, he said, is that anything is possible. Had you not seen it all from birth and thereby bled it of its strangeness it would appear to you for what it is, a hat trick in a medicine show, a fevered dream, a trance bepopulate with chimeras having neither analogue nor precedent, an itinerant carnival, a migratory tentshow whose ultimate destination after many a pitch in many a mudded field is unspeakable and calamitous beyond reckoning.
The universe is no narrow thing and the order within it is not constrained by any latitude in its conception to repeat what exists in one part in any other part. Even in this world more things exist without our knowledge than with it and the order in creation which you see is that which you have put there, like a string in a maze, so that you shall not lose your way. For existence has its own order and that no man's mind can compass, that mind itself being but a fact among others.- Blood Meridian by C-mac daddy1
On Rotation: How to Disappear Completely2 by Radiohead
Hey nerds3
This movie was so special. It blew my tiny mind.4
A guide, in case you need it.
To say I’m looking forward to his two new books is quite an understatement. I pre-ordered when they were announced. Soon, soon, soon!
Everything works separately, then there’s a bunch of confusion, then there’s that moment when Thom hits what I’m going to call the GOD NOTE at about 5:23, and then there is coalescence and “all in this together”. It reminds me of mediation when you have a really good session.
THIS VIDEO IS FOR NERDS AND EVEN I—a Radiohead tragic—THINK IT’S A LITTLE TOO MUCH!
Mikey Neumann (Movies with Mikey), is one of my fav video essay makers.
I didn't know I needed that in-depth look at "How to disappear"...but, it turns out I did.
Also..."C-mac daddy" 😂