"Everything I know about Marketing" as told by a rooster.
To promote your work, you must be your own annoying megaphone.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Project! Project! Project! Now!
All the world is a theatre, and to all my rooster and rooster-adjacent flock, broods, and clutches, it’s time to take center stage. You’re on!
Fun fact about your audience.
Are you ready?
Everyone is in the back row. Everyone!
Out there, in the dark, on the half nod, attention drifting as wood on a sea of indifference. Blissfully unaware of your prowess in the pen with the pen (or whatever implement you’re using to scratch the surface of your creative yard.) Pen is just an example.
Every short-attention-span, wow-me-or-lose-me-forever, I-didn’t-even-want-to-come-but-you’ve-piqued-my-interest person in the back row of this world—your potential audience—is ready to slump and slumber.
You have one mission.
Wake ‘em up. Wake! Them! Up!
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Project yourself before you peck yourself.
Preach to reach.
[APPLAUSE]
Greetings. Thanks for coming. Welcome to the Rooster Approach to Self-Promotion, by me, Bingo the Rooster.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Please be perched.
But don’t get too comfortable!
That’s a rookie rooster mistake. Comfortable is halfway to sleepy-strut-town, and to be a successful marketer and self-promoter—to adhere to the doctrine of what I like to call, the Poultry Pull—you must be vigilant, alert, and beady-eyed at the edge and around the middle and in all parts of your territory.
You want the full court press of the Poultry Pull, lest you get that paltry pull.
[CROWD LAUGHTER]
Paltry. I’m talking terrible, no good, might as well all go back to the commiseration coop and peep about those bad results, paltry.
[SAD PEEP SOUND]
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Maximize ROI.
Be the ROI.
Be the Rooster of Invention.
[CROWD] “R.O.I.!”
Be the Rooster of Ingenuity.
[CROWD] “R.O.I.!”
Be the Rooster of Impressions.
[CROWD] “R.O.I.!”
Impressions.
Impress for impressions.
Smart! Sharp! Successful!
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Let’s talk Roost.
And I don’t mean go back to the henhouse and sit on some perch preening and shaking out your comb with a satisfied shimmy as King of your Creative Coop. I mean rrrrr-roost as in the knobby-footed fling of your message into the air as a plume of magic dust to be caught and distributed to the world as speckles of truth in the agitated moment of your quick-turn scratch.
Rule that roost!
Roost!
This is what I, Bingo the Rooster, gallus gallus domesticus, CMO [Chicken Marketing Omniarch] here at Boost Your Roost Marketing Services, will teach you today.
[CROWD] “More Roost!”
What’s that?
I’m in the back row, remember.
[CROWD] “More Roost!”
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Friends. Strangers. Curious creatures at the fence seeking scraps.
Repeat after me: I am the megaphone of my destiny.
[CROWD REPEATS]
There is no off button to me.
[CROWD REPEATS]
Buttons are for blouses.
[CROWD REPEATS]
I am not a blouse. I am rooster, hear me bwark!
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
[CROWD] “Cock-a-doodle-doo!”
Be the rooster at the break of dawn, breaking the dawn, BEING THE DAWN at the dawn of your ascension.
Walk the yard.
Get out there with your message.
Be both heard AND seen.
What’s that? It’s hard out there right now?
Yes, it’s called the hard yard for a reason. Put in the hard yards in your hard yard. Go everywhere. Be everywhere. Know your message. Share that message. Scratch all the corners. No quiet as field mouse allowed. Be a rooster not a rodent. Rooster goals!
[CROWD] “Cock-a-doodle-doo!”
Cock a bwawking doodle doo indeed.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Why do I keep saying that? Cock-a-doodle-doo? Well, I’ll tell you.
The secret of marketing…
Come in close.
The secret of marketing…
Come on, guys, lean in.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
The secret of marketing is repetition. Repetition and consistency. Keep hitting them with the message. Day after day after day. Show up.
Look at me. Do you see me sleeping in on a Sunday morning? Or any day of the week for that matter? Do you see me hitting snooze and letting someone else steal my sunshine? My moment. My STAGE.
No.
I cock. And I doodle. And I do. Like clockwork. Like cockwork. That’s a joke, but I’m serious.
I get out, every morning, sometimes earlier to keep people guessing, sometimes right on time to set expectations, and I crow and crow and crow and I wake the dead. I instill rememberability into the half-sleep and mildly agitated minds of the world.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
And it’s not just that I keep getting back out there, being me, King of the Coop, cock of the walk, master of my yard. It’s that I am consistent in both approach—in showing up day after day—and message. That combo meal is a best seller.
Are you getting it yet?
Bok-bok-bok-bok-bok.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
And what does that give me? This repetition?
Easy. Brand recognition. That’s it right there. The cock. And the Doodle. And the Doo. Separately—a little bit sketch—but put ‘em together, powerful. Recognizable. Trademarked.
That’s my tagline. My hook. My catchphrase. My calling card.
Brand recognition comes from purposeful repetition. Right place, right time.
But small caution. Don’t oversaturate the market. It’s delicate repetition. You don’t want the authorities at your door issuing you a ‘disturbing the peace’ warning. You don’t want to annoy. You want to plant that ear-worm—delicious worms!—you want to plant your word worm message, your availability, the awareness of your existence, in places where it will be heard and grow.
I cannot do your bwawking for you.
You’ve got to get out there, chicken.
You’ve got to share your message.
Get known!
Be consistent with your cock-a-doodle-dooery.
Look at me. I never veer off message. I never stray from it. My tagline is my brand is my mojo and I repeat and repeat and repeat until I am remembered and it’s been good to me. It’s what got me to where I am today. Ask any child—ANY CHILD—what does the rooster say? How do they reply?
[CROWD] “Cock-a-doodle-doo!”
Exactly! Aren’t toddlers wonderful? I don’t ever chase them across the yard just to hear them scream.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
That’s branding at work. Powerful! I am nature’s alarm clock. It is known! The message works. The message is still working. My audience is still there—it does not go away. It’s expensive to move. Also, I do not listen to feedback, which is perhaps something you should consider if you want to wake up the world, and through it, any semblance of confidence, moxie, swagger, and derring-do within you.
Basically: Do not give a cluck.
[sound of scratching as Bingo goes through notes]
Umm… what else can I tell you. Projection… We did that…. ROI…. Roost…. Consistency…. Catchphrase, brand, never stray from the message, did that did that did that.
Ah, a few quick pecks from my scratch notes and we’ll wrap it up. Bwawk!
Be authentic. Rooster’s gotta roost. Repeat the message. Keep it clear. Know it, be intimate with it, be proud of it. Lift your work. Raise it up. Give it its flowers, its props, its moment to glint in the reflection of your water trough. Be an advocate for it. Shout it from the fenceposts.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
What have you got to lose? Seriously. No one’s gonna chop your head off for it. Not like me. Someone might chop my head off eventually, and yet, I believe with such passion, such verve, such committed “cluck to the yes!” as to my purpose on this earth, in this yard, that I STILL go out there every morning and have a yell. And by yell, I mean projection. I am not yelling. Reaching the back rows. Never yell. NO ALL CAPS. Unless you’re being IRONICALLY ALL CAPPED. No cap.
In short, I believe.
In myself, in the work, in the output. My mission.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Wake up!
Listen. Seriously. One story before I shut the gate. I have a cousin. Let’s call him Foghorn.
He is impressive. He is in your face. He is a braggart and swaggerish and boy does he strut. Don’t be afraid to strut. Confidence is all in the presentation.
Foghorn is loud. He is large. He is a strutabout. Do you think he or I got to where we are today, atop the heap of famous fowl, by clucking about scratching in the dirt hoping that’s how you unearth a Pulitzer? No. (Although, keep scratching at the lettuce leaves and onion skins. Perhaps that IS how you get a Pulitzer? Is the chicken equivalent a Pulletzer? I must look into that.)
Disturb the Peace!
Have strut.
Be the cock of the walk, the run, the write, the work, the world. Omniarch!
Be roosterific.
Get all the awards. The accolades. The scratch.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Be in places. All at once. Be loud. Be quiet. Be loud again. Let people get comfortable with your routine, then break it. Go earlier than normal.
Surprise them throughout the day with unscheduled reminders in the inbox of their brains.
Broadcast the bok boks about your book books and your song songs and your art arts and your wee wiggles to music in a professional setting.
Chase them across the yard. With a flyer. Announcing your tour dates. Or your next live performance. Or where you can be reached for bookings.
Find a new audience by marketing the rooster way. Bold, brassy, out there. Use your comb. Comb the forest, comb the sky, comb the deserts of the world for the flock of your dreams. The faithful, bold, the true, your people, your pullets, your poultry. Comb the alley of optimism with the claw of creativity.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Be the first thing someone thinks about when they wake up. Be the one to wake them up. Spiritually and creativity. Be at the top of your pecking order.
Be the rooster.
Presence. Purpose. Projection. Present your full chest. Use that Gallus Gallus Gravitas. Tail feathers a shakin’. Shine of your eyes. Shine of your eyes. Shine of your eyes.
Because, flock, friends, strangers and curious creatures at the fence seeking scraps.
It’s cock-a-doodle-doo!
Not cock-a-doodle-don’t!
Go behind the scenes and see inspirations for this post👇
This week’s amends…
“Do stuff. Be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead… Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. It’s all about taking in as much of what’s out there as you can, and not letting the excuses and the dreariness of some of the obligations you’ll be incurring narrow your lives. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager.”― Susan Sontag, excerpt from commencement speech to students, at Vassar College, 2003
I dug around a bit trying to find the full speech, and someone helpfully included it here.
On Rotation: “Cannonball” by The Breeders
Ah, this takes me back to University Years Janeen. I was reminded of it by this video.
Via BoingBoing
One of Martin Short’s best characters. So good to see him again.
Via a search after seeing it on TikTok.
Watch the moment B&W television switches to color in 1967.
Via Swiss Miss
That’s all for this week. Got something to say? Feel free to leave some words on this post.
Shameless Podcast Plug
Listen to audio versions of early issues of The Stream on my podcast, Field of Streams, available on 👉 all major podcasting platforms 👈
Here’s Apple