If you didn’t read this week’s post “A Song for Clean Up on Aisle Five” I will read it to you, dramatically and enthusiastically, below. 👇
Reading commences as soon as you hit play. Enjoy!
Notes from the Captain
I love the concept of the Kitten Distribution System (sometimes also called the Cat Distribution System). The KDS/CDS does not occur in the supermarket aisle where you would find cat food (although, maybe in an abandoned supermarket?) and you might wonder why I bring it up. Well, in the first cut of this video, I did an aside talking about why you should always have an emergency tin of cat food—just a little one—in your pantry. Not a metaphorical one, an actual one. One for Kitten Distribution System emergencies.
And then I dropped that whole section because the video was at 15 minutes. Cut! Cut! Cut! I can be quite ruthless.
But perhaps you’ve never heard of the KDS?
I didn’t know about the Kitten Distribution System until TikTok hipped me too it. I’d see mention of it in the comments on videos where kittens swarmed out of the bushes to overwhelm a person, or someone posted a photo of a kitten they’d found meowing in a parking lot. The comment would always be something like: “Kitten Distribution System at work” or a variation on it.
The basic premise is that a kitten (or cat) will appear in your life if the universe has deemed you worthy of benefiting from the Cat Distribution System/Kitten Distribution System.
I am still waiting for mine, but bearing in mind that I am not allowed to have a pet in my apartment, I may be waiting a long time. My can is ready!
Since I can’t have a cat (the landlord’s weekender apartment is on my landing, so I can’t even sneak one), I have befriended many neighborhood kitties over the years.
There used to be one who would come up the stairs to visit and wait at my door to be given the attention it required. It started with visits at the bottom of the stairs—I would sit on the step and pet him—before he finally worked his way up to being so bold as to demand attention at my door. I’d come out and pet him on the landing, until one day he walked in through my open door and did an inspection of my entire domicile, declared everything in order, then left. I haven’t seen him in a while—I think he moved away…
And then there is a white cat with grey markings whose fur is so soft it nearly makes me weep with joy when she swings by to say hi to me in my driveway. Sometimes she flops down and lets me rub her belly as she purrs away. I think she lives half-way between me and the grocery store, as I sometimes see her on my walk up there to stock up on It’s-It ice cream sandwiches. She comes out and says hello and we meet in the street for a moment.
This is boring and perhaps gives away how much I want a cat but the point of this is: cats don’t care. Cats live their lives. Cats can take you or leave you.
We could all be a bit more cat.
Which is not to say I don’t love dogs. I just think there’s something we can learn from cats—to care less about what others think of us. And we can learn from cold cuts too, obviously, though that lesson is more obtuse. Watch the video. You’ll see.
I’ve been holding onto the term ‘cat food and cold cuts’—which I repeated many times throughout this week’s poem—for nearly 20 years. Weird how things get stuck in your head. Helps to write them down at the time, I guess. Also to buy the URL. Whoops! I only recently let that URL, catfoodandcoldcuts.com, go (like five or six years ago maybe—that’s recent!)
I’ll stop rambling now. Be a song. Fill your body with all sorts of exceptional and complementary musical ingredients from the supermarket of life. Be a song for clean-up on aisle five.
Speaking of songs, should I keep working on the Cat Food and Cold Cuts song I talk about in the video? Is that a good project for me? Leave a comment and let me know if country is the right way to go.
Your Captain, Janeen 🫡
Thangs from this episode…
👩✈️ Cat Distribution System
As I mentioned above, I actually cut this section out of the video, but here is an example of the Kitten Distribution System at work.
The term “Cat Distribution System”, where did it come from? This was the original TikTok that started the meme (people putting this audio over cat videos or them getting a kitten.) Maybe the term was around before then, but this is the one that defined it.
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
👩✈️ Cats are Jerks
For reference.
👩✈️ Devon… or Balogna?
Devon in Australia is… who knows. But here’s a primer on Bologna! Or is it Baloney? Is that the same thing?
But enough of that! Here’s what you’ve really been waiting for. An entire episode—like 43 minutes—about Cold Cuts from the show, Modern Marvels.
Thanks for listening/watching and sharing this week. If you want to chat about any of the concepts in this week’s post—or just in general—feel free to leave a comment for the Captain (it me.)
Do. Make. Be.
I’ll see you out there.
🫡
Shameless Podcast Plug
Listen to audio versions of early issues of The Stream on my podcast, Field of Streams, available on 👉 all major podcasting platforms 👈
Here’s Apple
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